Mr. Africa Poetry Lounge!

Am I Contemplating Suicide

Sitting here thinking that life wont get better,
contemplating the unthinkable,
wondering how it all came to this,
wondering if it's the right thing to do.
I feel that my life has no purpose, that all hope is lost,
wondering why GOD has allowed this depression to linger,
willing to pay the final cost.
I have accomplished a few things;
furthered my education, traveled to Europe,
raised a son to be an adult;
taught him values, cultural pride,
and told him to do the right thing,
to enjoy his everyday life.
I am not feeling sorry for myself,
I just know that it is time,
instead of my life lingering along in despair,
and continuing with its' decline---
I want to unwind,
I know life could be divine,
but in time,
life has let me down,
I don't want to stick around,
I just want to lie down,
forget all the hard times,
I wish that life could rewind,
I realize that life keep letting me down.
I therefore know it's time,
time to leave my fellow man.
Some may say that I gave up to easy,
some may not even care;
some may say negative things,
saying how I have now brought pain.
No one had to walk in my shoes,
no one really knew.
People took my outer appearance for happiness,
seeing how I lived, and admiring my dress,
saying to themselves that I must be truly blessed;
no one knew that my bills were all past due,
I played it off so well,
no one knew that I was extremely blue.
I saw no way out,
I saw no reason to live,
I saw no hope,
and the pressures of life just would not give.
I refuse to continue to live this miserable life,
I no longer want to feel pain,
my life has no meaning,
no one in particular is to blame.
Am I contemplating suicide.

Written by Michelle Phillips


Mr. Africa Poetry Lounge