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Contradiction


I can not love enough
To let go of my hate
Quite an oxymoron…right?
There's a thin line between
Love and hate
So light
Damn near white
No----
Just damn near invisible
So conceivable
And feasible
That the two are one
And I hate so deep
That the line will never be done
Never can be overrun
By the power of lusts
And I can't love enough
To trust
That this feeling is just a façade
That I can nod
Or just blink away
Sleeping next to my best friend
In the form of my worst enemy
Can't pretend to me
In amity
When I can not love enough
To let go of hate
And you're too late
To save me from myself
Died a long time back
And hit a comeback
Embraced everything that I lacked
In fact
I stole your best game too
As easily as
Kobe ran through
James
Rose to my claim
It's just a shame
Because of the love that could've been
Now, just seems like a sin
To embrace the ways
Of past days
No calendar could ever reach
Too deep
Into my pain
Didn't drive me crazy
I'm erotically insane
21st century Einstein
Out to protect mine
Make up for all that I lost
Could never know the cost
I paid at the attempt to love
That's why I'd rather
Hate so strong
That no love could ever make
Me forget
So venomous
I'd never regret
Never again set
Myself up for a fall
You may have my body
But you'll never have all
Of me
I'm not free
From the whispers of my past
The broken silence
Of why my joy could
Never last
And why I have ecstasy in hate
My thrills in relating my now
To then
And making up my damage
With a win
Don't look at it strange
Don't think that you can change
My heart can't be rearranged
No time machine
Can erase
All that I've seen
I can't love enough
To forget my hate
Quite a contradiction…right?

Written by Anesa Laneigh

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