Mr. Africa Poetry Lounge!
Beaten Down
I'm so beaten down,
I never knew life could be this hard.
Got born-again,
stopped certain sin,
began to worship God,
that's when things got unbelievably hard.
Feel as if my world has been crushed,
don't know who I can trust.
I never knew life would be so hard,
after all, I do praise and worship God.
No one prepared me for this,
what great mystery did I miss?
Had I known, would I have sought after this?
Would I have gotten to know the Lord?
If I had known, it was going to be this hard,
I probably would have continued to operate in Satan's world.
Some seem to get their breakthrough easier,
in one day, they see change;
some confess too after having given an offering,
the next week, they claim their breakthrough came.
First fruits is very important,
never knew this before;
it is different from tithe,
it's the whole part of increase,
no one has taught me this before.
I first fruit,
nothing.
I tithe,
nothing.
I fast,
nothing.
I give offerings,
nothing.
I live a lifestyle of worship,
nothing.
I sacrifice,
nothing.
I change my ugly ways,
nothing.
Lord, what am I doing wrong?
I see everyone having this breakthrough,
that breakthrough,
what am I doing wrong?
I have no one positive to talk to.
No one can handle the real me,
but when they are having a problem,
they seek after me.
But no!
I can't go to anyone in my circle for support;
negative, negative,
people's minds are stuck in a rut.
Is this worth it?
Should I give up?
Will the Lord supply all my needs?
Will I just continue to be stuck?
It has been years;
I thought three-years top,
it is now going on five years,
will these financial hardships ever stop?
Lord, do you love me? I yell.
Lord, speak to me.
Lord, I need you,
Lord, get me out of this hell.
I can't take this;
this is way too much,
I'm so tired Lord,
I sometimes want to give up.
I don't have the strength,
Satan is too strong;
his demonic spirits wont give up,
I can't take it for very long.
The Lord spoke to my heart;
Dear child don't give up;
forget the negative people,
keep your chin up.
Delve into my Word,
forget not My sayings;
when times get rough,
that's when it's time to start fasting and praying.
You are doing ok,
it just takes time;
stop comparing your life to other people,
just continue to abide in My Word.
People will judge you,
say you must be doing something wrong,
they will mock you,
but I'm proud of you,
you proudly confess My Word.
My Glory will shine in your life,
just you wait and see,
those who passed judgment on you,
those who ignored you,
those who thought you weren't worthy,
they'll begin to see.
Continue to confess My Word,
continue to believe,
rely on the Lord Jesus for strength,
My Glory will shine in your life,
just you wait on Me.
Written by Michelle Phillips
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